Anotherstander- she is probably in over her head. She is good but shes still a long way off from competing woth the best in the world. The people around her continue to tell her she has tons of potential and will be improving a ton but she really isnt improving at the rate she probably wants. I think she uses me as an excuse for why shes not where she wants to be, not only in her athletic goals but in her career as well. Ive never told her she couldnt make it or wasnt good enough, ive always told her how impresive she was and how shes definitely gotten better and stuff, but I guess I just wasnt saying the right things.
I had a feeling that might be the case. I think I'm starting to see the big picture, and you sir, are in a crappy spot. Here is the thing, if she is not a world class athlete but she wants to pursue that dream WHILE ALSO working, being an attentive wife, and helping take care of the home then more power to her. Plenty of Olympic athletes do just that. But if she is not a world class athlete then she is NOT in a position to quit working, quit taking care of the house and quit being your wife because she thinks all of those things "interfere" with her progress. No, that's not how life works. She's starting to sound like an indulgent, selfish, entitled brat. She needs a wake-up call, and unfortunately you can't give it to her because she'll just resent you for it. She needs to learn on her own that she is not "all that".
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I will work on being more of a ra-ra person if thats what she needs and I have the opportunity.
Just to clarify, I do not mean feed her ego. Don't tell her she's the greatest sprinter (or whatever) in the world and will clearly win the gold medal. I just mean to celebrate the things she does do right and be supportive of her within the framework of her being a good wife and such as well. If you get back together, then make an effort to go watch her when she does compete and cheer her on, and tell her how impressed you are and such. That's all I meant. My kids, it meant the world to them to look up and see me up in the stands. It thrilled them to pieces. That meant more to them than a thousand "attaboys".
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I did bring up a monthly allotment and she was against the idea. I think if anything that made her feel like I wanted her to be less in control of making decisions espicailly financially.
Hmmmm, well it sounds like you have been trying. This may be more about her own personal awakening that she is not the athlete she thought she was and is now looking for a scapegoat. Does it feel like that may be what's going on?
