Finding Solutions, Not Distractions..

[Coconut]

I want to quote and reply, but don't want the message to disappear, so i'll just do generic. Doodler, I am a bit gaga over gg.. I don't know why, there are other girls I could date, but I just aren't interested in them, and gg checks off a lot less boxes than they do on my "what I want list".. I also think that is a big part of the problem, I'm not dating others.. all your eggs in one basket type thing. I'm pretty sure the only reason I became so attracted to gg, and why I'm currently overlooking a LOT of red flags (of which I've only mentioned 4 children living at home) is because I initially was attracted to her almost 3 months ago and that attraction kept brewing for another 2 months or so before I actually got a chance to start talking to her and getting to know her.

Don, ahh, high school.. that comment hurt more than most 2x4's that I've gotten here at DB, but it does come across that way. Although I went on one date a few weeks ago, it was just dinner (we met and parted ways at the restaurant) and it was just an opportunity to follow up on good conversation we had at a previous outing. I wasn't emotionally connected at all, but was there just to see if there was anything there. It was different with gg, this was my first date with someone I really was into and wanted to spend time with. Hopefully it's just the "newness" of dating that caused me to build it up so much and it will diminish over time. As for dating within group, it definitely could get squishy if we date within, but it's a singles group and wouldn't want anyone to not take that step if they found someone they like. As for possessive, I know gg dates, although I don't know if she is dating someone right now and it doesn't matter to me, my issue was with someone I consider a friend hitting on a girl that he knows I've been talking / trying to talk to for months. Like I said, if she liked him and went after him, I would step back, but my issue was with my perception that "he" was trying to hook up with her.

Vanilla, she isn't responsible for how I feel about dating, but if she is hitting on someone in my presence then I would walk away, no hard feelings but not willing to be treated as such. It's hard with her, because she has told me that if she does something that bothers me, to let her know because she has to sometimes learn acceptable social behavior due to a medical condition, but she didn't say what condition. For the record, it is not generally obvious that she has an issue, she only brought it up after I mentioned her ignoring me at game nights. So I still don't know if she was hitting on my friend or just literally needed a ride and didn't want me to feel obligated. As for dating others, there are others I could date, although I don't know I could meet the # of people you do, sounds exhausting to be honest, and I won't hesitate to line up another date if I feel so inclined. I'm not trying to put all my eggs in one basket, but she's the first so until I meet someone else she will be the only.

Ginger, I have no issue if she dates others, but I will not date her if she's dating other people that I hang out with, just to weird for me, like what if all three are at an event together. For the most part the singles group is mostly women, like 95% women, so there hasn't been much dating within the group and most see the group as a way to get out and do things and maybe meet other people while out. I don't think it is seen as a hook-up hangout by most.


Overall, I definitely got to invested too soon, I was excited about it and found myself dwelling on the excitement. I knew it was bad, but something I'd been waiting so long for. Date was two days ago, we only communicated a little by text yesterday after I told her I enjoyed the date, and I haven't really put any thought into a follow up date. I have leveled out a bit, I recognize that while I may really be attracted to her, I don't think there is much long term potential, so I'm trying to get to a place that it's just fun... I'm thinking dating is like anything else, the more you do it the better you get at it, so every date and interaction is beneficial in the long run.