Looks like you are one of the unlucky ones having trouble with posts going through. Cadet says it is being worked on so hopefully it'll be resolved soon.
Your W's reaction is not really surprising. She had some pretty little picture in her head of how everything was going to go down and you pretty much spoiled it for her, so she throws a tantrum like a little kid that wants a toy in the grocery store. Just be firm but loving (IE, don't yell back at her) and if she gets particularly out of control just tell her you will not participate in a shouting match and get up and leave. Like you said, it's time to stand up for yourself!
I have been offline for a while, since I practically could not post at all, but lets see if this works without contraction symbols.
Obviously lot has happened during these weeks offline, but I have realized that its true what everyone says: time helps. I have felt lot better, have practically not been obsessing anymore, have done some serious GALling and started to take my life back.
I can see that before my all DB actions have been aiming to R, but what have changed is that now my goal is to heal and to be the best version of myself. If my W dont want to enjoy that new version, someone else will at some day.
I tried to turn every stone to not miss any possibility to R. But as so many of you have told, if WW wakes up at all, usually it dont happen until LBS have stopped trying when it might be too late. I always reasoned that I should continue being emotional with W etc, since my case was so different me being that neglecting in past. But then I thought that my W have followed every other line in classical WW script so why would it be different in the sense of her waking up after me being emotional. So I stopped pursuing completely and started focusing in detaching.
And eventually that made things so much easier for me. I almost felt good from time to time - until today.
We have had disagreements regarding financial matters and W have been angrier than usual. She then today said that she cannot live like this anymore and she wants to go forward in life and start dating. She explained that now when I was travelling for work last week, she felt first time that she did not have to worry what happens there with other women - even though nothing never happened - since it no longer is her business. She also said that she knows that I have changed but its too late and she cannot receive my love anymore, but she still feels bad that someone else can enjoy the new me...
So, it seems that W starts openly dating other man or men. That means that I dont consider us being married anymore and file for D. Naturally Im in very low point at the moment, but my DB continues with a single goal to make myself the best possible man.
It is so weird... Just two days ago WW said she wants to go dating others and now she sends me messages like: -I am so sad, nothing has ever hurt this much- and -I miss you- etc. It does not change anything I do, and I know she should not be believed but her mindset is so complicated. How would you answer these messages?
good advise for validating! I answered that and she replied that: -its exactly how I feel-.
Yep, I do not expect that to be anything else than ensuring Im still available when it suits her agenda. Sure it [censored] but I have overcome my biggest challenge to express my emotions to her. Even she says she is interested, deep down she is only interested in herself.
She has rented an apartment with another WW and and invited me and kids to housewarming party with another WWs LBS. Of course that was only to us and friends would come later. Anyway, I did not feel ok going to her partyflat and to be honest - not even interested. So I said thank you but no thank you. Clearly she was disappointed about it, but why should I go just to make her happy...
