Finding Solutions, Not Distractions..

[Coconut]

be forwarned, my thoughts/feelings about gg are swirling, so this post may be a jumbled mess, but I want to start putting things out.

So I posted last Friday that I was going to gg's rugby game and was excited. That night there was a meetup scheduled at a local club, I knew gg had signed up to go and I was torn as to whether or not to go.

On one hand, I thought it would be a bad idea to go since gg was going, and I didn't want to spend to much time with her too fast. It would be fine if I could go and just have a good time with everyone, but I know me, and if I'm around her my focus and attention is going to be on her. In addition, I didn't feel like I would enjoy being there, dancing makes me uncomfortable, and I enjoy talking and joking with people, something that's difficult to do in a club. At the same time, I knew if she wasn't going, I wouldn't hesitate to go and see what happens. So in the end, I decided I didn't want to not go because she was going to be there, so I went.

It turned out to be as uncomfortable as I had feared and I quickly realized that I had made a bad decision but I stuck it out for about 2 hours.

A little back story real quick; the morning after my game night party, the people who stayed overnight went out to breakfast in the morning, during breakfast I inadvertently found out one of my buddies (lets call him fisher, there are 5 of us that are becoming good friends and he's one of them) had been texting gg. I didn't know what they were talking about or how often they talked, a comment was just made to me that someone saw texts between him and her. Now this particular guy talks to every girl in the group, my impression is he throws out lots of lines hoping one will bite, but I've never talked to him about what his motives for doing so are. Anyway, I was immediately triggered when I was told, I could tell it was a by product of my sitch with the ex, so I decided to process it before saying anything. Then, when I had asked gg out on a date the next night, I mentioned to her that I would like to go to one of her rugby games, she replied that fisher wanted to go to one also and maybe we could make a meetup out of it. That triggered the heck out of me, I put the phone down and went for a walk, then came back and text fisher letting him know I was pissed and wanted to know if he knew how I felt about gg or if he didn't care. He replied that they had only talked about him wanting to go to a game, that was it, he was only being friendly, considers me a friend and would never cross that line. I was good with his explanation and told him it was cool and we were good.

So anyway, back to the club, fisher was out on the patio to smoke, it was quite out there so I went to hang out and talk. GG came out a little later and we were all talking. She told me that she found out there was a going away party for one of her friends from the game night group, that she wanted to go for a little while before our date, and asked for a different time to meet (I agreed but I didn't like it because I felt like our first date was already planned and thought it shouldn't be moved around to accommodate other plans), then out of nowhere, gg asked fisher if he would give her a ride to the rugby game the next day (1 hr away) because her car was acting up. That did not make me happy, I was immediately uncomfortable with that and it made me feel that she might be interested in him, and if that was the case then I was just going wish him best of luck. I don't want him hitting on her, but I wouldn't stand in the way or hold it against him if she wanted to spend time with him and he did. Anyway, long story short, he said sure and she told him that she was going to try and get a ride with a friend, but would call him if she wasn't able so they could ride together.

The morning of the game, one of the other close friends called me to talk, during the conversation she told me that fisher was very uncomfortable with gg asking him for a ride, that he actually wasn't going to go to the game and was saying he was having car trouble also (I don't know if gg called him to ask for a ride or not, I didn't ask). I spent the morning trying to decide if I wanted to cut bait with gg and not go to the game and cancel the date, which I was very close to doing, except for one thing; gg is kind of socially awkward in that she doesn't always process how her actions may affect other people. Because I knew that, I decided to go ahead with the game and date as planned and go from there.

I went to the game, and gotta say rugby is pretty freaking cool, I would agree that it is a better sport than football due to the almost non-stop action (and this from someone who loves football). After the game, I said goodbye to gg, she told me that she had to meet with the team and then they were going to have some drinks to celebrate and told me that I could stick around and participate and then she left. I decided not to stick around and took off while they were meeting, I sent her a text telling her I left, that I enjoyed the game and thought she did great.

She called me when she got home, told me that she wanted to go to dinner, wanted to reschedule the movie part of the date since she was having car trouble and I live about 30 mins from the restaurant we were going to. She said that she didn't want to just leave it out there and wanted to pick a date for that. I told her that I could drive her from the restaurant to my house and back if she wanted to go, and she agreed quickly so I don't think she was using the car as an excuse.

The date was great, I enjoy spending time with her and am very attracted to her. There was no kiss, although I looked for an opportunity I never really felt like it was mutually felt so I refrained, I just gave her a hug at the end, and held it a little longer than a friendly hug. So the date was great but I do feel that her actions leading up to it were disrespectful, which has made me put up some walls.

I apologize for being so long winded, but if you made it this far and are still following along, I do have concerns about:

- the lack of priority she put on our date, moving it around for other plans,

- asking fisher to drive her to the game an hour away and not asking me (btw, gg and fisher don't really know each other, only talking once at my party)

Do you guys think her actions were disrespectful or if I'm expecting to much being that we had never gone out before and she didn't owe me anything?