raws, you're in good hands with jujuB and joejoe and so I won't crowd your thread with more information.
I will say this though
1. Respect the No Contact. Just give her space. You think there is a TRO that came in the mail. If you think so, be very careful. Don't do something stupid that you will regret later.
2. Don't act out of emotion. Better to do nothing than something.
3. Don't do something with the thought - what does she want me to do or if she wants to see a specific reaction. That is a lose-lose situation. she will find something wrong no matter what choice you make. Only make choices that feel true to your values and who you are.
4. But right now, your emotions are driving you, and you need to stop that. so, what feels true to you and who you are is skewed. That's why slow down.
5. Self-care is first right now. You cannot operate in a healthy way if you are not grounded. You need to make this your top priority.
Btw, I know how it feels to be discarded and just treated like garbage. That you don't matter one bit and that the history means nothing. It is a horrible place to be emotionally. You have to get out of there first before you can do anything productive.
I will quote another poster - Tread - who had said that it is better if the LBS just moves forward with their life without thinking about recon from the very beginning of BD. I cannot concur more. I know it's hard, but getting your mindset right is most of the battle.
