No affair(?), no feelings...is there hope? Part II

[SteveLW]

Wow. A lot of activity in this thread. 44 I still think that you are in a good position here without confronting. There will always be time to tackle this and come to some resolution. As I said before I do not think there is a lot of chance of this A lasting very long based on the ages involved.

If you read my sitch you will send I used a mish-mash of a couple of different anti-divorce techniques. One of course is DBing, another was one that first move was to set aside the problems in your MR and work on reconnecting. Pursuit? A bit maybe. But the beauty of that is the antithesis of MC where all you do is talk about your problems.

The theory is a sound one and I believe the combination of DBing and reconnecting helped my sitch turnaround fairly quickly. It took about 3 months for my wife to come back to the MR. Reluctantly at first, but it picked up momentum after that and by month 4 she seems fully committed back to the MR.

Some here are skeptical of that turnaround, and I am being vigilant to make sure the changes are consistent over time. But I really do believe that part of what worked for me was not constantly talking about the problems.

We also had being devoutly religious going for us in our sitch. I think her beliefs, though she temporarily turned away from them, helped bring her back. A big turning point was the faith-based marriage retreat we went on in mid-Feb.