No affair(?), no feelings...is there hope? Part II

[44tries]

MRay, Please know how much I appreciate your story. Thank you for sharing it. I have actually been looking through the boards trying to find examples of people faced with the confrontation dilemma.

I must say your W's response was pretty promising, relatively speaking. I think you got through a huge obstacle on your journey if the A is truly over, and I'm really glad for you. If I knew my W would act similarly, I probably wouldn't hesitate as much. How did you find the messages? Did you have to 'snoop', and if so, was she upset?

I hadn't even considered the possibility of contacting the OM. I do know him, but not well enough to be sure of his character. For some reason, I just assumed this was a huge no-no and would cause her to hate me forever. But you provide an interesting illustration of an alternative.

I totally understand about the need for strength and coolness during the confrontation. I am very worried about it turning into something like you described. I know how difficult it is and despite all I have learned and grown, that would be like an ultimate test. Am I really prepared to do what it takes (lose her) to actually shake her fog? Like you said, you were only at that place two months later. But I don't really see how I can delay it. I either confront her now or essentially gamble on the A ending on it's own "within 6 months" as MWD says. If I confront her later, I fear I will just look weak regardless.



Thank you all for your feedback. Even though it may be conflicting, it's great to look at it from all angles.