It's like she enjoyed emasculating OM at the time, and she would laugh about it at home. And now she's attracted to him? Just weird. I'm really not sure what to make of all that, but I do find it an interesting dynamic.
It's a little difficult to explain, and I don't know if this is the case in every WW affair. For me, it was more about how the OM made me feel. Maybe you've heard the old saying of being in love with love? It's the whole fantasy gig. In the majority of stories, the OM is a step down from the H. I've also found that the OM is frequently opposite from the H. It fits, simply b/c of the craziness of the wayward mindset.
Quote:
Looking back I know that it's part of her personality. She's a strong woman that has tried similar things with me, but I would respond by challenging her and showing her strength. Nothing close to violence or abuse, just playful stuff. This always attracted her in our good days and we would laugh, and good times would ensue. OM goes along with it and lets her dominate him and that's now attractive? Was she wanting to see me as a dominant male again? Or is she tired of having a dominant male challenge her authority and she wants a pushover to dominate? Who really knows? The best part of this analysis is I'm not really having an emotional response. I'm just curious.
In a man-woman relationship, the woman wants a man who is stronger than she is. Maybe it goes back to the beginning of time when she needed a strong man to take care of her and her offsprings. She will challenge him, test him, and give him a devil of a time...........to see if he is tougher than she is. Not only tougher, but to see how he will deal with her. I don't think she is always aware she's testing him at the time, but it's in her nature and she is going to do it! I don't envy men today.
Yes, in a male-female relationship, she wants to see male dominance in her H. That is sexually attractive to a woman. A woman doesn't grow "tired" of male dominance in the guy she loves. She craves it. This is a part of masculinity that turns her on. It's such a crying shame that so many men today think they are suppose to act like these idiot TV sitcom H's. That's the role model a lot of boys grew up watching, and it's so far from what women really want.
Women want to be respected and treated like she's his equal. They don't want to be bullied or treated badly in any form. A man can show his natural male dominance without treating her as if she doesn't have a brain, or using some form of abuse to "keep her line". I would encourage all the H's on the board to read about how to show male dominance in marriage. It may open some eyes, especially when it comes to the bedroom.
I have seen a few men who think they are acting like some cave man by pushing his weight around........but he's just being an overbearing a$$. He's not showing any type of natural male dominance. And I can promise you, it won't sexually attract a woman, unless she doesn't have the sense to determine a fake from the genuine. So men should not confuse the definition of male dominance.
In regard to male dominance, an in-house separation puts the H at a terrible disadvantage, IMHO.
Quote:
Thinking back I'm pretty sure she was temp-checking me last weekend, and I failed. She hasn't done any temp-checking throughout this sitch, so I was unprepared. We used to enjoy watching tv shows, reading books, etc. together and discussing what happened and trying to figure out what's going to happen next. All of this has stopped except for one show, but we hadn't watched in a few weeks. When the kids go take their naps or go to bed she immediately goes to her room. She never watches tv in the living room, but this time she put the next episode on in the living room while I was working out. She knew full well that I would come in from the garage and see her watching without me. She knew this would bother me as it's the last thing that we did together that doesn't involve our children. She looked at me when I came in, and immediately asked if I would like her to stop watching. I told her that I really would have liked to watch together so I don't fall behind, but if she wanted to watch she should go right ahead. I went back to my workout, and she decided to go back to her room and watch the show there. I should have left it at that. Feeling like I was losing the one thing we had left,
It didn't really look like a temp check, to me. Now, she may have been doing it to needle you......but I don't think it was to gauge where you are emotionally in the relationship. As an outsider, it did kind of look as if you were the one who couldn't make up your mind what you wanted to do. Plus, you were giving her a lot of credit for knowing exactly what you would feel & think about watching that episode together. Waywards are so self absorbed that she may never even given you a thought when she started watching it. But at any rate, yeah......you didn't come out looking so cool on that one..
Quote:
In the future I'll be more prepared for this kind of thing. I've read a lot about temp-checking
,
In some of that reading, there's a possibility you read some poster's incorrect definition for temp checking. Just in case, it is when the WW wants reassurance that the H is still emotionally attached to her. So, she'll set him up in some way to gauge his response. Maybe you related this to your situation b/c of your emotions over that episode being the last thing you had done together, IDK. If she had been temp checking, then she would have been pleased that you changed your mind and wanted to watch the episode with her.
Good job in actually seeing your body making a positive transformation.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
