I dont buy it. You are blaming yourself for everything and not looking at your ex and what she's saying and doing. And until your fog dissipitates, it's gonna be a lot of guilt and self blame.
You're allowed to have a hobby that keeps you healthy. If she is telling you stuff along the lines of shes leaving cause you didn't give her enough attention, she is only gaslighting you.
Maybe go to therapy? Learn more about healthy relationship dynamics. Develop your self esteem.
So just came home to find a letter from the police dept addressed to my wife. Ive got a friend visiting and hes engaged to an officer who says it's probably a restraining/protection order for my wife. I didnt open it but I'm pretty sure thats what it is. This is totally unexpected and is absolutely out of the blue. I love my wife and have never threatened her. This is driving me crazy
No. It's not a ticket. The cars are both in my name so it would be addressed to me. Its definitely one of those things but sent to her for whatever reason. I'm sure ill be figuring it out this week sometine when I come home and check the mail.
I'm no contact since the couple calls and texts i sent when I walked in on my half empty house. I'm not talkig to any of her family either.
My friend talked me through it all a bit. He thinks that since shes always feeling like shes not contributing financially shes got no control in the r and is insecure about the power she has and compensated by exerting control by belittling me to empower herself. She didnt feel like an equal partner in the m.
Maybe this is her way of trying to get back in control? I dont know. If it is a restraining/protection order would that be her trying to control the situation further? Should I make any attempt to contact her prior to being notified to see if she wants to talk or say anything? Im so freaked out. I feel like this is all spinning out of control so fast
You dont know what this is yet so no use in panicking.
Don't try to analyze your ex. Most of us here do that. All you end up doing is projecting your own feelings and values on to them.
I know it's early in your sitch to hear this but most of them are selfish pos and are not thinking the things we like to think they are... I have female aquaintances that are walkaways. Trust me. If only you knew what they say and think.
Just take it day by day and develop a back up plan. Research some good lawyers just in case.
Will do. Thank you so much juju. I'm sitting here refreshing this page hoping for a response so I appreciate you.
I'm talking to legal on Monday to try to get some guidance. I know you say not to freak out but Its definitely not easy.
I just want to be happy and I want her to be happy. If its not together I'm ok with that, I just wish things didnt have to get ugly. I love her and I know somewhere under the anger and pain she loves me. I just wish she would realize it and come home or at least talk to me.
I'm having a really tough time. I cant get that letter out of my head. I hope she doesnt do something out of anger that will affect the rest of my life. I'm sorry just needed to get this off my chest
So today was rough but a bit better than yesterday. I spent some time with friends and was able to clear my head a bit. I came home and checked my facebook and she has blocked me on fb and instagram.
I'm freaked out again now. Shes never done this before. Not even during the first time we had issues. I feel like any hope I had that she may cool off is gone. I dont know where to go from here. Its been 5 days of no contact and now she deletes me? What is the point of that?
