No affair(?), no feelings...is there hope? Part II

[44tries]

Doodler,

Thank you for clarifying, I see what you were saying now. I'm not sure that she suspects I know. I confronted her about the texting that one time, but I was very unassuming and as far as I know she bought that I was just being precautionary (at the time, I really didn't know anything for sure). As for leaving the phone intentionally, it's certainly possible, but I don't think so. I have thought about why she seems so careless about the whole thing--does she really think I'm dumb? Is she dumb, as often happens with cheaters? Does she subconsciously or consciously want me to know? Who knows. But I have also wondered why, if she truly wants me gone and doesn't care about burning the bridge, she wouldn't just tell me. Seems like pretty strong ammunition to get me out the door.

Anyway, it sounds like you think I should confront her. I agree that inevitably it will have to come to light, one way or another. But, as Sandi and Steve have said, it feels like confrontation now will just push her further down that road. Right now I have time on my side and can focus on myself and DB, and let the A run whatever course it's going to. I don't think have any control over it, whether she knows I know or not. I won't deny there are times when it's extremely difficult to just sit or drive quietly while she's two feet away sending little heart emojis or whatever the ****. But I limit these times to the minimum I can and assume this is where tremendous patience and self-control are required. I would love to hear more of your thoughts on "getting to the heart of the matter", though. All opinions welcome.


Steve,

Your input is in line with the way I thought I was supposed to be handling it. I am rather new to this 'game' stuff and didn't really think of it that way either. What is the reason a WAS would leave their phone for LBS to find rather than just tell them if they want them to know? They don't have the guts? I don't really want any of this to be a game. I just want to handle this awful situation the best way possible, come out the other side in one piece stronger than I was before, and leave no stone unturned if there is any chance to save the marriage.