"She was looking at you under a microscope to see if your changes were real"
Is this really how anyone wants to live for 3 years? Under a microscope?
Raw, were you cheating? Were you spending all of your families income on drugs or gamblimg it away? Were you not coming home cause you were with friends hanging out at strip clubs and she was left wondering where you were? Were you forgetting to pick up you children from preschool cause you were hung over? Did you hit her or call her names?
Or are you just one of those guys that leave the toilet seat up?
Seriously. Sometimes we just have the misfortune to have picked a partner that is simply not committed to marriage. They might be committed to their own personal happiness. In which case, any little microscopic thing you do they will blame and villify because of their own miscontent. Use as an excuse to cheat, or leave. She has already done this. And will continue to do this cause this is who she is.
Maybe if you get a second job that enables her more luxuries? Maybe she will come back...until she adapts to that and wants something else.
To me it sounds like you are human. And living with another human gets boring or annoying. That's what marriage is. Some can handle getting annoyed or bored, others cant.
Stop the chase. Learn to value yourself. Cause as a woman whose husband did forget to pick up son from preschool multiple times, and who withdrew 800 a week in bad neighborhoods.. I'm scratching my head wondering, what does she want?
Again. Learn to value yourself. Work on your self esteem. She does not appreciate you? I am sure there are others who will. Her loss.
