KML, I know. I struggle a lot with this issue. It's hard to convince myself that my actions wouldn't have made a difference because I'm ashamed to say I became the abusive, controlling, negative one when my husband returned. I hate who I became. I know the root cause of the problems is my husband, but I have a hard time forgiving myself for how I reacted. Yes, he cheated and left for eight weeks but I think there were more productive, humane ways of dealing with the aftermath. Now it's too late...but I know I have to find a way to let it go.
Steve, my husband was in IC twice. He did well with the first counselor. The one he saw twice last summer, however, seemed to be the who helped him realize he wanted to separate. That upsets me a lot because it's easy for a counselor who meets you twice to encourage someone to leave but I wish it had been a different counselor who was more pro-marriage. That's interesting about your FIL. I really don't want my daughter to have the same experience as your wife growing up. I hope we can change course somehow. Thanks for your prayers.
Arshi, hopefully you saw some similarities between our situations when you read my thread. I wish I could meet someone like you in real life! Thanks for your encouragement. Please keep us posted on what's happening with your husband.
Jim, thanks. I guess we'll keep the gifts but it's very unpredictable what my husband will do next. I'm trying to avoid contacting my husband at all for a while, although I do have to ask him something about the apartment we left behind in our old city. I miss him a lot when I see our old familiar places here in our current city but I know there's not much else I can do except making this move and trying to get established here.
