No affair(?), no feelings...is there hope? Part II

[44tries]

I want to encourage you here. If she is asking "are you mad" then you are probably doing detachment right! When I would detach well, my wife would always temp check me with a "is there something wrong?" As positively and upbeat as I could be without overdoing it I would respond with "Nope, everything is great!" You've already said that she is constantly temp checking, asking you what you are doing and did. So she is probably uber-sensitive to any changes you make. So if you detach properly she will take note. That may be her "are you mad?" is all about.

Concentrate on your detachment. How she reads it or interprets it is on her. So don't do change it based on her reaction. I think from what you have said you are doing really really well! So keep up the good work!

Thanks so much, Steve! This really made me smile. After being here a few weeks, doing so much reading and posting, it's easy to feel I am so far from where I want/need to be. My eyes were really opened to how weak and accommodating I have been in my MR and how sorely I am lacking leadership skills. I do not want to be the desperate, powerless doormat anymore. It feels really good to know that I have made some positive progress and it is evident.

W called down to me just a few minutes ago, asking what I'm doing and if I'm mad. I really do think it is just her puzzlement at my detachment. Now every time she asks I will use it as motivation to keep pushing forward.