I just live in fear that the TRO will be lifted and she will continue to just ghost me. I know I'm not much more well equipped to deal with her with the DB techniques, but i may have FUBAR'ed this whole situation before ever finding DB stuff.
Orange, YOU didn't create this sitch, SHE did. Going back to your first post, the two of you got married and FOUR MONTHS LATER she changed her online status to single and started trolling for men. Given that the two of you were barely married, it is highly unlikely that this is due to any spousal neglect or issues on your part as that usually takes many years to take root. I think in your case you're just unlucky enough to have paired up with someone that can't commit and settle down.
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We will have to co parent no matter what, and i just have NO $*%&ING CLUE how shes going to act, treat me, expect or say when we can talk. She has hidden behind the RO for so long i dont know if i will even recognize the woman i talk to when its gone.
I'm not big on quoting the Bible but there is a lot of wisdom in it and this passage in particular:
"So don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today's trouble is enough for today."
Whenever I start to worry about something down the road then I stop and take a deep breath and ask myself if it's worth the energy. Is my worry accomplishing anything? Is worrying about it in advance going to change the outcome? No? OK then I need to worry about things I DO have control over, like paying that bill or getting my deadline done or painting the front door or whatever. But if you want to give that some energy, then focus on YOU. Imagine her worst possible reaction, and visualize how YOU will react to that. Conduct yourself with dignity and respect and no matter how SHE acts, YOU will be the rock.
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I miss my happy family so much. i miss waking up on sundays and having us all pile in bed and laugh. So much. it breaks my heart to a million shards to think she isnt missing that, that she isnt hurting for our boy. she may be, thats the problem. I HAVE NO IDEA.
You are very young. I was older than you when I had my first kid. You will have these moments again. So many people here are so lost in pain and despair and misery that they are incapable of seeing their lives as ever being positive again. Here's the problem, a WAS doesn't want to return to a sad, depressed, despondent LBS. But if the LBS is happy, independent, strong, attractive, then the WAS may start looking back. One of the fastest ways to get there is to focus not on what you are right now, but what you will be in 6 months or a year or whatever. Picture those moments in bed with someone you love, because it WILL HAPPEN. I don't mean there's a 10% change or 50 or 80, there is a 100% chance, it is a GIVEN. I don't know if it's with this woman or another one, but it will be someone you love and who loves you. So think about that, and let it put a smile on your face. Each day is another step towards that goal.
