aaahhh man reframe.. you are in a tough spot. We've all been there.
I see Maika is fighting the good fight.... listen to him.
I'll be honest with you... she is not working on herself, she is not self aware of anything accept, of course, what her wayward mind wants. It's just bla bla bla words man. Whatever she has to tell herself to justify her actions is what you are hearing. She will not be ready to work on herself for a long, long time if ever. Heck, my wife didn't realize the mess she was in for a solid year. Even then it took another year for her to realize that she had to look inward. And you know what helped to get her to that point... me going dark! Don't care what she is doing.... and if that's not possible.. then act as if. Then one day you wake up and you actually don't care (go watch swingers). It's the fog man... that's all it is. The sooner you realize this and accept the better off you will be.
What was your response when she said she was going to buy a van and travel solo?? I would have ignored that for sure. And that's not being mean or being vindictive. SHE was the one being mean by telling you that.
Tell your friend to stop giving you details about what she is posting. If you want to know, you will ask. I had that convo with anyone who mentioned what my WW was doing on social media... and you know what... I never heard details of it again.
