Being firm doesn't mean not being nice. I think Maika's point is that validation means to be succinct and stick to the point of validating. Don't offer up more info than you need to. The thing about needing to work on yourself etc is too much info. Plus Maika's example leaves a lot of mystery. She will wonder "Why can't he right now? Had he moved on to someone else? Why is he so busy? Why isn't he not jumping at the chance to be with me?" Etc.
The point of succinct validation and detachment (again, do this so super nicely that she will be coated in sugar afterward!) is to get her to want to know what is up. To be curious! She will then initiate contact much more. She will push for meeting up even harder. It will drive her crazy wondering why you aren't agreeing to get together and what you are up to!
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
