I think aside from "reverse psychology" one has to learn to love ones self more. A good friend once told me, pretend it is not you and you are giving advice to yourself. It was easy, but when you are still hurting, it is hard to follow what your rational brain is telling you to do. It was only when I was finally able to get a hold of myself that I found leverage. My husband would use to tell me "you would never see me again when the morning comes" Finally, when I was asking him to leave, words easily came out of my mouth, "I don't need you" "Do you think I will not survive without you? That I won't live without any men in my life?" Perhaps with a matching determination on my face, my husband knew I was not bluffing and after that he was "with the program" He has changed a lot, every time he does something that hurts me, I would let him know. I would tell him "You cannot abuse me anymore, I will not give you a chance to hurt me anymore" I got the fire back in my eyes. No, I do not wish to control him. I simply put a stop to the emotional abuse. I do not know where our marriage will be months from now. All I know, I am happy because I treat every interaction I have with him as my last. No regrets, no worries about tomorrow, just enjoying what I have at the moment.
