... I don't understand why your W isn't more aware of how she's pouring salt into the wound when she interacts with men. I have wondered if you try to tell yourself she doesn't intentionally act flirty or forward.....and that it's just her personality, and if other men get the wrong idea, then that's their problem (she has actually told you similar words).
I'm not trying to speak for Ginger, but we both have said we can kind of relate to your W b/c we, also, have a friendly, outgoing personality. However, we both have said that we have boundaries. When the woman is innocent of ulterior motives or even if she desires the male attention/flirting........she still lives by a code of conduct that shows respect for herself, as a lady, and for her H.
I'm saying, it's not just you. I'd dare say any H would have the same feelings.......maybe a lot worse. I hope the MC will press upon your W that having the attitude that she doesn't care what others think....including the men.........is just not acceptable in a MR. It would be especially cruel for the spouse that has been betrayed. But let the counselor handle this, b/c your W may see you trying to control/punish her. As you pointed out, this is some remaining rebelliousness.
on the one hand, i too am a girly, girl... i love pretty things, the color pale pink, painted toes, blush lip gloss... on the other hand, i can hang with the guys... my best friend is male, and i tend to get along with males... my female friends are my sisters... i am a sports fanatic, whisky and tequila shooter, Scotch sipper... no fruity mixed drinks for me... i taught my sons how to throw a spiral with a football, how to bat, and how to catch fly balls, how to play pool... i speak proper English but can take on the vocabulary of a drunken sailor in a split second... on my son's 21st birthday last year, he and i smoked cigars and drank bourbon (something i had promised him since he was about 10)...
i am used to getting attention... i have always gotten attention... but i am not naive... even in the throes of my affairs, i never lied to myself... i never tried to make myself believe something that wasn't true... i am not full of myself, but i am aware that men can and have been attracted to me... either your wife is truly naive, or she is putting on a silly little girl-y act, and that is not attractive... actually, neither are attractive: being naive, or the silly act... it seems immature to me... i do see that she and i have a lot of traits in common, but immature i am not... when i was loose with my boundaries, i was intentionally loose with them... i knew i was crossing a line... and i could not and would not try to make myself believe that i had no intention of doing that...
