Hi DB members. I am now separated 7 months married 3 yrs and together 5 yrs. When I met my wife 3/13 she was married for the 2nd time. Had a 6 yr old son from the 1st marriage. And a 8 month old girl from the 2nd marriage. We met in class at the community college. I was 36, she was 29. I had been engaged twice but never married and had a 6 yr old girl that lived with her mother and I saw every other weekend. We started messaging each other through FB and phone. She informed me that her and her husband were done and both were living on opposite sides of the house. He was mentally and physically abusive as well as her 1st marriage. I felt so bad for her situation as she informed me that the only reason she still lives in the same house was for financial reasons. After talking for 3 months we had a date and was was physical within a couple hours. within a couple weeks she signed a 1 year lease for an apartment. After a year she was divorced, I proposed and we were engaged and she moved into my house. after she moved in the following year she was physically abusive towards me. She was constantly accusing me of cheating (Which I did NOT). we would get into huge arguments and she would pack her belongings in her car and take the children. Now, mind you I was completely innocent of the accusations. she had slapped, scratched and punched me. all while verbally degrading me. I know what you are thinking, We should have ended it there. When we had great times they were GREAT but the bad times were BAD. The sex was amazing which made us overlook the bad.
After a year of seeing her pack the children up and leave. whether a day, a couple days or a week. The verbal abuse and physical abuse. I started to lash out physically by pushing her away from me. Also verbally I was abusive. within 4 1/2 years she had taken 3 restraining orders out on me. The first two I was back home within 24 hrs and she dropped the RO when we went to court. The 1st one she dropped we went to the magistrate and got married. The second one we decided to try to conceive, so she quit her BC. Now to this one, She did not drop it. I was stupid for not hiring a lawyer. But given our history I thought she would drop it. The judge granted it for a year. 5 months into the restraining order I bought some Valentines gifts and left them on her apartment door. The next day I was arrested for violating a court order. 2 days before we had court I decided to go back to her apartment to give her back the jewelry she had left at my house. She had texted my family asking for it. They told me to sell it or throw it away. My friends and family will not mediate between us because how she has treated me. Well she violated me again..... Within the 7 months of separation I have spoke to her on the phone a couple of times. She still was still accusing me of cheating on her. Telling me my mother and sister have not supported our marriage and even talked to the girl she accused me of cheating on her with. Through the years she has moved out 3 times for a month at a time. signing a year lease at 3 different apartments. Breaking the lease and moving back in. each time the children were enrolled into that school district. The third time she moved into her second husbands house until she could move into her apartment. On our honeymoon we went on a cruise and got into an argument, for which she said she should have brought her ex husband, husband #2. For which I lost it. It was a physical altercation. We have been to a certified Christian marriage counselor which helped greatly. We were able to see the others point of view. Presently I am labeled a wife beater and she is a domestic abuse survivor. I have went to counseling, became more involved in church. serving every other weekend and joined an all men church group. And completely changed all the bad she mentioned in the conversations we had. With many details omitted, does my marriage have a chance?
