lost and desperate think she has closed Part 2

[along]

Latest update. I have been working on refinancing the house and the bank says the title company wants a marital waiver form and quit claim deed signed in order to proceed. Asked the wife and she agreed to do so, then she said "her attorney" advised her not to sign. Told her I would have to wait for divorce to proceed then. She responded that she needed a closing date and when/how I was going to pay her equity for the divorce agreement. This puts me in a catch 22. this can't be right. I have not talked to her since. I am trying to formulate a proper response since I know the OM is coaching her. She asked about the apraisal being done and who was doing it then if she would get a copy. I let her know i didn't know.
she sent an email saying OK then immediately after she sent another which was not meant for me saying that I didn't know who was apraising the house.
I wanted to call her and tell her that the OM needs to stay out of our D. I have resisted the temptation so far. At this point we are at an impass. I need to give her options. Either she sign or we sell the house and deal with the rest.