Talked to my D's doctor yesterday. Working through the list to get her a therapist. Other than that, uneventful night. detached, went for a run, spent some time working on the computer after dinner. Left this morning and just said goodbye.
reading more on detaching and the validation threads when the conversations do happen.
JustSad, sounds like you are on the right track. Remember, consistency is the key. That is where a lot of us stumbled especially early on.
I can tell you that detaching works when down right. I could not believe how when I was able to do it well, how quickly my W would change course. Another marriage expert put it like this: It is kind of like when two guys start to square off for a fight. One will push the other. The other will then immediately, once they recover their balance, come forward. She described to me that I need to give my wife an emotional shove away. And her natural instinct will be to come towards me.
The problem is very few of us early on are able to do that "push" or detachment, or differentiation, well. It takes practice, diligence, patience, and resolve.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
