Right now I'm doing OK, except when I interact with her. Seeing her apparently happy (although perhaps trying to convince herself) and moving on with her life is still really painful.
She is also planning things that her health issues wouldn't have let her do when we were together, which does make me question some of them....
Well, if she's moving on with her life, so should you. I doubt she is but is putting on a good show.
You just have to put all of these thoughts about her out of your mind. You will not find satisfactory answers to what you're thinking and you'll keep obsessing over it. Just let it go.
I know this is hard. Trust me - it's been almost 10 months since BD for me and W occupies way more mental space than I'd like her to. And I know it's because the pain of rejection and having your ego destroyed takes time to heal.
So, you won't be able to banish these thoughts on command, but they'll come more fleetingly. And to get there you have to GAL and figure out how to improve yourself. That's the only way through. Through the pain, not around it.
Don't feel bad about having these thoughts about her. they will subside, but it takes active work and not staying in the limbo and grieving zone. You have to pull yourself out of it.
