Hanging On (Saying ILY Pt. 2)

[mtb1981]

Well... Unfortumately things went like I were afraid they would would. W "moved" back home the day after she signed a lease on a new place. She told me she wanted it to be available if things went south. She stayed home the first 2 nights, and was gone the next 2. Home another night and gone for 3. The pattern continued, and she has officially moved into her place a few days ago. I will admit, I became weak and put up with her behavior for the past month again. I really felt sorry for her, and wanted nothing to do but help her. I now realize I was just enabling her and preventing her from hitting rock bottom. I really feel stupid, but I'm not going to beat myself up for it any longer. She was in a bad place mentally and physically, and I thought I could "save" her. I now realize that is not my job. It's really hard watching someone you care about so much hurt themselves the way she was. Lesson learned. The worst part is that I was in a good place mentally before she came back, and now I have to go through the actions/emotions to get back there...

I am currently going NC and getting back to being the best I can be for myself. The tough part is dealing with the emotional manipulation. She still tells me she loves me every time we finish speaking, and I struggle with not saying it back, even though I know that's what I need to be doing. I need to be moving on...