I don't believe I had ever looked at how much how I feel affects how I think and perceive what is happening with the people I am interacting with or even thinking about.
Something good to keep in mind.
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
It isn't really like moving home, because they would have this house on their farm and then if I didn't want to stay there permanently what would they do with it?
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
Hmm..if I tell you I can't imagine how I have helped you, that would be invalidating your statement. Sooo what if I say I'm not sure how I helped you but I am very glad to have done so.
No, I can't SEE any work I am doing other than back and forth on struggling to hold onto myself.
I am also doing a descent job, FINALLY, of Acting As If, nothing is wrong when interacting with CHL.
I almost asked you to play devil's advocate with me today, then figured I have to do this on my own.
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
Moving home might be a great way for you to do a lot of things.
Find a new job doing something that challenges you. Get your finances straightened out so that in the future you can buy your own house. Give you a safe space away from Mr. Cool and others. Start attending a local dog club without fear of running into the above. Face your fears, whatever they may be, knowing that mom and dad are right close to you.
Can you think of any other reasons why this would be a good move for you?
Here are the negatives and I will try to think of some positives.
Not much chance at all of finding a good job in that small of a town. My chances of that would be much better here in a bigger town.
Actually my finances aren't a problem I just don't make enough money to buy a house.
David and the others wouldn't be in New Albany as he would have no reason to cross the river. All the action is on the KY side.
The closest local dog club is the one I already belong too.
It would be 2 miles from my ex husband and I really don't want to run into him. I'm not saying he doesn't have plenty of cause but I'm sure if he has heard about this divorce he is pleased.
The only plus is it means I don't have to do anything to have a home. But that also feels like a cope out, do you sort of know what I mean?
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
Quote: The only plus is it means I don't have to do anything to have a home. But that also feels like a cope out, do you sort of know what I mean?
I know this was likely just a typo but perhaps it's also a Freudian slip?
It doesn't have to be HARD to do something to make it worthwhile.
Let me try something out on you...it's an ASSumption on my part so it may certainly not fit....but here goes....
The other day you posted about leaving the BB because you had encountered another moment where you felt as though CHL wouldn't be changing his mind...I posted to you and asked what it would take for you to see us as resources...not just when you're feeling as though you're doing OK but also when you're not....
It seems to me (ASSumption warning) that you're reluctant to ask others to help you COPE...us, your parents, etc.
Do you think that's true for you?
Is there a way for you to not see this as a dead end but as KK suggested a step along the path to a new life?
Sage
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
I think some of that might be true but some of that is me trying to learn to manage things on my own rather than looking for someone else to help with it.
To me that has been one of my big problems is I did want someone else to manage my emotions so I didn't have to keep myself in control.
To me I really look at moving back just 2 miles down the road from where I left as a total failure.
Not only did my relationship fail but my moving away to bigger city, better paying job. Just going back I think would make me really feel even more of a failure.
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
Well, it certainly doesn't make it right. But it is the way I feel.
I got a job down here doing something I had never done before but wanted to try. I ended up liking it.
Then moved to an apartment in KY leaving my h, we talked some but after several months he filed for d, we had already divided what we wanted up when I moved. So it was very amicable.
But if I go back just 2 miles down the road where we lived.
I failed in my new R, I would have to go back to even a lower paying job more than likely, and I failed at making it on my own.
I don't know it just feels like total failure if I go that route.
Doesn't mean that may not be the way I HAVE to go. But I am going to try to look at other options first.
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
