Former WH, now LBS Please Help, close to Give Up

[sandi2]

It's good to hear from you.

she like very much push my buttons (when have discussion, and the things went, not in her way, she start threatening me about, how she have to found some other man to look after her, or she will have sex with the firs man she found

This is no threat...... when you are dropping her. She told you this to manipulate you and keep you upset. It stops working to push your buttons when you don't get upset.

Now i let her go, but i am at stage Fake It Until Make It :), my behavior, what i show, haw i am look like is that i let her go (i hope i am pretty much objective about me). Mentally i have long road to go, to be "make it" let her go

.

It's okay. You will get better when you realize you deserve more respect.

This last time when she aswering to him and chat a litlle, i was redy to go out, but was late, i tought it will be beeter to go sleep to fresh in the morning. What is done -is done, if there next time i will go out. This evening right after i went to bed, she came 5 min later.

If it is late, you don't have to leave, if you are not full of anger.

This one will be hard. There was 2-3 times in the past after arguments, when i staid my point about OM or/and her behavior, and she ask in angry way to not sleep at same bed with her, i told her that i will sleep in my bed, and she can sleep where she wants. So now, i think is too late to do this, also it will be questioned by the kids as well - but i will think about it..i am not refusing anything.

You cannot force her out of the bedroom. The point is to let her know you don't want to sleep with her when she acts like a disrespectful W. This does not mean you must be the one to leave your bed. She thinks the man automatically has to sleep on the couch, just b/c she is a woman. Not so! The spouse who has done wrong sleeps on the couch. If the kids ask why she slept on the couch, she will have to deal with answering them. However, this is just a suggestion. Do what you feel is best.

Sani i want to hug you, there is all sens possible. I red all of your treads here, as well as most of your coments in other thereads, i have red a lot here. So i know very cleare whot you wrote about, i understend this at emotional, psihological and bioligiacal level.
So No you are not confusing me, you keep me in right direction, and i am very great-full about it. What confuse me is my fight whit my fears, my NGS, My codependency and lo self esteem, i do not show this to anyone, but i am very clear where i am emotionally, spiritually and physically:).

You are very kind and encourage me a lot. ((hugs))

You will conquer these issues. How do I know? B/c you are doing what you must do, in spite of being afraid. The cowardly man feels fear and lets it paralyze him. The brave man feels fear and does what he must do. In my opinion, you are overcoming lies that has captured your mind for a long time. You listened to lies whisper in your ear about Betheoa. Don't let the lies defeat you any longer. Believe in the man you truly are.

2 days ago, when she uses my name in sweet why, i shut her down. In the past i was OK when she was telling me in this way, now i found that when she talk to others, and start to talk about me in not very respectful way, she use this name, also when we are together and she fell more easy with me, and felt little more bossy, she use this name. So i told her to not call me this name any more. later she ask why i ask this, i answer that i do not want she to call me with this name any more. Period.

Well done!