She is convincing herself that our marriage was a farce, that no one was happy, she even used the phrase "you terrorized us". She was referring to me dealing with the financial crisis that cost us our business and our home and the anger I felt during this time. This anger was not AT my family, it was at the situation, but it was present. I have apologized, we are beyond that, and there is really nothing left to say on that. I would gladly work on this more in the future. We have been together for 21 years, have 2 great kids, and have had an amazing life together. Definitely a roller coaster with the last decade of health issues, children (not a bad thing at all but this does change the home dynamic), then the financial crisis, and just life. Way more than most, but always knowing there are those that are dealing with things way worse than what we have.
Very very common. WASs always rewrite history. It is part of the WAS fog they go through. "We never should have got married." "We were never happy." "I have tried to make things work for X number of years and you didn't care." "You are too controlling."
Bottom line is that she was unhappy and she is blaming you for the bulk, if not all of, that unhappiness. Totally normal when it comes to WASs. Don't argue with her. Read Cadet's link for Validation. Use validation tactics. Any protestations you put up to these statements will come across to her as more "terrorizing".
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
