Spot on with this. Well, at least the part about her not being able to handle her own thoughts and feelings about herself. I know she doesn't know what she wants, is unhappy (which is not because of me despite her blame), and has no real direction. But she isn't dealing with it properly and is instead assuaging it with distraction. Ironically, she talks endlessly of wanting to be alone. She claims her paradise is living on an island by herself with her dogs. I don't know why she insists on convincing herself of this when it is so clearly untrue. She feels such pressure and obligation from everyone around her; she would be much better off working through her own codependency issues.
44, my wife said the same things! But as your sitch it was only after things ended with the OM. Her's was an online EA. The furthest it got was her sending him some nude pictures. My wife is an attractive woman, but she was 49. He was 42. And he had a girlfriend that was even younger than him. Once he got what he wanted from her, he gave her the old "I want to make things work with my girlfriend speech."
That is when the "it would be easier for everyone if I just died." and "I want to live all by myself on an island." talk started.
It is a phase. Either she will move on to OM2 (mine was headed that way), or she will finally wake up to her actions and want to work on the MR. Note, this is not an overnight change. My wife struggled with it for weeks. Some struggle with it for months or even years.
When she is ready to work on the R, MC might be able to help. You should be in IC regardless.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
