Bye bye limbo -- it's time for a change

[mleigh4]

Hi everyone!

Well, H and I sat down tonight, just us, and went over the divorce agreement to be drawn up. Thanks to Bttrfly, and others, I had everything written out, exactly what I wanted, to take care of S and I.

I was worried all week about this planned meeting. Not sleeping or eating well, but working hard with prayer, meditation and exercise to keep my calm.

It went really well. We went over each topic, I approached each with my view. Only a couple he debated on, but I was ready for it, we discussed, and by the end, he agreed it was fair and agreeable. He wrote it all down and says he just wants to go over it all with legal advice before having it drawn up. Totally understandable as I did the same. So please, send your prayers out there that it continues to go smooth. Once it is signed and filed, then I will breathe!

One thing really stood out to me. Not once did I feel any regret or fear for what we were discussing, that tells me I am so ready. Also, there was no fighting, only some mild anger, but nothing confrontational, just emotional, and that was on both sides. Overall, the meeting went beyond easier than I thought it would.

Other than that, it's been quiet over here. I am still staying a bit isolated, but that comes from not really having friends that get this, so I feel safer being alone most times. My divorce class has been very helpful, the guy who hit on me has not been there anymore, so that is a bit of a relief. The class itself is so comforting, I just love it. It not only has helped lead me to a greater faith, but also has helped me to realize how unhealthy my marriage was. It's been an eye opener and is bringing back my self worth, self confidence and ability to embrace my singleness without feeling like an outsider in the world of couples.

S is doing great. He has an open house at school this week. 2 months left of elementary school, starting middle school in August! I just can't believe it. As he has gotten older, he has expressed his need for personal space, which means no constant kisses from mommy on the head! As I have adjusted to this, every once in a while, he comes over and gives me a big hug or cuddles up with me out of the blue. Well, of course I eat this up! I just love our relationship, the openness and respect for each other. He is growing up to be a good little man before my eyes.

I have a very close friend coming at the end of the month from many states away to visit. I just can't wait, she has been one of my biggest supporters and best friends since high school. She will be good for me.

H has his business trip coming up in 2 weeks. He said he will email me the flight and hotel info, that's new! So I guess he hasn't been lying about these trips. Even though it's a shame we couldn't work this out, and I still believe our problems are fixable, I have accepted its time to move on. I feel very at peace and most of all, beyond grateful that so far things are going smooth with the process.

Thank you all for your well wishes, please keep us in your prayers.
M