Spouses who are genuinely sorry and remorseful don't go back on what they say or try to bargain or push boundaries and see what they can get away with. When they are truly sorry and willing to do the work, they will be the one going above and beyond to ensure your comfort level, to make you feel secure, and do whatever it takes to keep you. Anything less than that is a spouse who is just cake eating...wanting the benefits you provide, without giving you the loyalty and commitment you deserve. Being willing to accept scraps of attention in hopes it will become more only emboldens a WS to keep doing just what he's doing. Who wouldn't want to have the best of both worlds when there are no consequences for their actions? This is the time to draw serious boundaries. Expect better for yourself.
Yes, I totally agree. To me if I was on his end, everything seems so clear. This is what he told me, this is what I need to do, and I would do it if I wanted to make sure things worked out. I don't think he's over his own issues. But I refuse to have "explore" again, when he did that in January and wanted to come home immediately. I don't know what the best method would be for him to understand the boundaries and understand what he needs to do.
