I found individual counseling immensely helpful, more helpful even than marriage counseling, although it means a lot to me that my husband was wiling to go.

I would not ask your husband to go with you to see your counselor. I would keep the focus on you. If he expresses a willingness to go to counseling, then you can find a marriage counselor at that point.

Me: 44
H: 44
Kids: 20, 16, 16, and 10
Together/Married: 22 years
H announced he was emotionally detached and considering D: 4/4/16
H announced he is going to try to stay and reconnect: 5/1/16