I like your approach. I think a key difference is this isn't some new woman that you met that you are afraid of asking out. This is this is a woman that walked out of your life. A woman that sent you mixed signals and chronically temp checked you.
Based on the way she played her cards it is absolutely on her to demonstrate something more serious than temp checking and game playing. On this forum it is often said that if a WAS wants to R then they'll make their feelings clear, you won't miss the chance because you didn't pounce on crumbs or pursue them desperately.
Myself, I'd send the message (with actions, not words) that I just wanted to catch up, see how it would go to reconnect a bit. But I'd also have some very real concerns about getting too close with a woman that would walk out, so while I'd be open to enjoying a good time together, I'd have to have a reason to think she'd grown up a bit before reinvesting myself emotionally. So yeah, the ball is really in her court, not just in going beyond temp checking and addressing a desire to start something up again, but also in demonstrating that she's not going to flake out on you. This isn't about fear of rejection, it's about self respect and boundaries from someone that disrespected you and threw you away in the past.
Agree or disagree, you shouldn't be looked down at for your decision. I'm not fond of the labeling of 'beta male' as a negative. There's not one right way to be. There are many standards of others I don't meet, and I'm not going to despise myself or contort my life trying to please others for approval.
Me:38 XW:38 T:11 years M:8 years Kids: S14, D11, D7 BD/Move out day: 6/17/14, D final Dec 15
