Help evaluating LRT progress

[Olya]

Well, I broke one of the rules and snooped. Now I have my answer to the question I have been asking: what kind of woman would want to start a relationship with a man a week after he announces that he wants to divorce his wife.

The answer? A 21-year-old.

That's right! My husband decided to start a relationship with a 21-year-old woman.

I checked our phone records and saw a number that he texts non-stop. I checked the number and it came back as belonging to a 42-year-old male with the same last name as OW. I did a public records search on him and found that one of his relatives is this 21-year-old woman. This must be her father as she is still on his phone plan.

I... I feel better. I truly do.

I was so scared when he told me that it was a woman he met at work last year. I imagined someone around my age, maybe a little older or maybe a little younger - someone who is more accomplished, more independent. In short, I imagined a sophisticated woman whom I couldn't hold a candle to. Instead, it's a 21-year-old girl. I suspect, she has no formal education beyond maybe a community college. If her dad is a veteran, a low-level DOD job is not hard to come by.

I am only 28 and I look no older than 25. I am not threatened by the fact that she is so much younger. If anything, this virtually guarantees that their relationship is a doomed one.

I also had some time to think about what I want.

1. I want her gone and out of the picture.
2. I could take him back after this affair.
3. I will never take him back if he gets her pregnant - that is my red line.

But first, I want her out of the picture.

Learning her age makes things so much more simple now.

First, I know that I am dealing with a man who is in a deep MLC. As recently as two years ago he was absolutely repulsed by anyone under 25. He called them annoying f867ing kids. Now he is suddenly dating one of them while screaming at me that he does not want to be around me because I am "not fun"? That combined with everything else that has been going on makes things very clear with respect to where he's at.

Second, I know that this relationship will not last and that this woman is not the love of his life. There is nothing that she can do for him and nothing that she can help him with. She cannot be an equal partner. I suspect that he's looking to feel like a "big man," but I know for certain that he is not prepared for any of the headaches that go along with it. I also highly doubt that she's the type of person who would take his gear to get stitched while battling a bad kidney infection. He is used to have everything done for him and to me bending over backwards to meet and anticipate his needs. He has never appreciated that. I suspect that will be changing.

Third, I doubt that their relationship can survive his deployment.

Fourth, and this is unfortunate, but the odds of unwanted pregnancy just went way through the roof. And that is my queue to completely exit this situation.


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I would truly appreciate any guidance or advice that this forum has to offer.