LBW, H in MLC and with OW - part 3

[meg24]

So it's been a loonnggg Friday the 13th, and that being said, I don't know what to think of today's events.

H texted me in the middle of the night last night, it was night off work, this time I really was asleep (remember, he's been working graves all week). The jist of it... he's got a lot of his mind, guilt, anger, love, pain, all running together in big f'ed up ball of emotions, doesn't even know who he is anymore.

I replied at later in the morning, sounds like a lot going on in the, more than I can imagine. Next line, I know I shouldn't have said, but I said "think about this question, if you don't know what you're doing, why are you doing it? Then I said sometimes I think this started because you wanted to prove a point but then it spiraled out of control and you don't know how to stop it and go back.

Was having lunch with a friend later and got a text, "I just want you to know that I love you and am going to work on making myself better. I saw commercial on tv and made me think of when you were pregnant with s21, we were young and had whole lives ahead of us, and now I feel like it's all just crumbled to dust and blowing away. You are my best friend and I can't lose that or you." He then asked what I was doing tomorrow, he would like to see me before he has to drive 1 1/2 hours to be at work at 8:30pm. I told him my plans for the day, said maybe we could meet for lunch in the city before I head up the hill home late afternoon.

when I got home from work, he had come up to the house during the day and left me something. It had to have been before anyone got home from school, as s21 didn't mention seeing dad. H had taken his very favorite picture of me in the world, from shortly before we got married (he keeps it framed on his dresser, but, of course, didn't take it when he moved out). Anyway, he put the photo on the entryway table, with a single rose and card. In the card he said thank you for still being here, and he is going to work this out. Also said that there was a lot to my early comment about him starting this to prove a point and it spiraling out of control.

More conversation this evening before I went to Celebrate Recovery. I told him he had to cut off all ties with OW before anything, even facebook. I said I know she didn't start this, but she got stuck in the middle and didn't help at all. He said he was ending it with her. He wants to work things out with us and work on moving back home.

My hopes are not getting up, I need to see that he's sincere and genuine. I know he knows the changes I've been making, but I need to see that he's serious, that there are absolutely NO OW, EA, PA, or whatever.

I need strength.