Can I really do this?

[Dtrmned]

Thanks to all that replied.

Just to re-iterate some of the post was venting. I hate that all of us are going through this.

To address a few comments.

1- I have called an attorney and trying to get in front of them as soon as possible to evaluate everything.

2- I will get my children counseling as they have been dealing with way too much.

3- My reason for speaking that my son's report was him being in a bad place is that both my W and I have commented to each other and noticed that for the last few months my son has been way sweeter, nicer, less talking back, hugging, kissing, overall affectionate and way more accommodating than his usual personality dictated. He just seems to be way overcompensating with saying the things he is saying and doing the things he is doing. He is the sweetest sweetest boy anyway and has always been very sensitive, but you can see the change.

4- Regarding the Teenager stuff for my D happening anyway. I was referring to more of the regular teenager stuff as peer pressure, grades, life, etc. The cutting is a HUGE deal and I am not discounting it in the least.

5- You are right that I probably shouldn't have made the stable home environment comment to my W. It is how I feel, but probably shouldn't have been said. I know that there are great homes that have kids that struggle, but I also know that a stable foundation at home allows the child to feel secure and tackle the challenges of life. My bad on the comment. Part of me trying to do better is realizing when I make mistakes. Mostly they rarely happen, only on a daily basis.

6- Doctor nor D mentioned it to my W. My W overheard the private conversation as the walls were very thin and she heard it all.

7- I don't know what to say with regard to putting it out there that the decision my W is making affects everyone in our family. There are consequences to actions made by decisions that each of us makes. Children should not be the recipient of having to deal with these consequences. I am not "blaming" my W. I do think that the situation that BOTH of us have put our children in is not healthy and needs to change so that they have a stable foundation with which to move forward and challenge the world as the world challenges them. There should not be an instance where they feel unsafe and insecure in their own home.

This is all new to me as well. I am not an expert in MR, D, Kids, counseling, or how to deal with these complex and drastically life changing issues that are before everyone in our home. My wish is for all of us to be happy, healthy (as healthy as we can be), and enjoy our lives. If it takes my MR to be done for this to happen, so be it.

This is just a totally different feeling and place than where I was when I started on this board and read DB. I was obsessing, snooping, doomsday attitude, etc. Now this is about our children and working on myself. My W is going to do what she is going to do. This is affecting way to many people and these are the people who mean the most to me in this world. I can only take responsibility for my part. I

My upcoming steps are to find my children a counselor, to get in front of my attorney, to continue working on myself and to do all I can to keep my home safe and secure for all of us.

No pushing, no questions, nothing. I see a lot of running over the next few days!!!!