Hi, sorry that I have been late to respond. You are gaining more strength every day. I want to ask you some questions, and you may think upon a couple of things.

Your W sees you watching her when she contact OM on her PC, yes? You said you did not leave the house b/c it would appear as if you are reacting. Do you feel she communicates with OM in front of you, to push your buttons and get a reaction?

Your plan is "dropping the rope" or "letting her go" (both the same). You do not need to be concerned what she thinks. You do not have to stay in the house when she is disrespecting you by communicating with OM in front of you. Tell her she is a disrespectful W and you do not want to be with her. Tell her you do not want her to share your bed. Tell her to sleep on the couch or in another room, b/c she is disrespectful.

If you want to leave the house when she contacts OM in front of you......then leave. She knows you see and she knows she is disrespectful to her H by talking with this OM. You are not a fool and believe they are just friends. Be stern and tell her you don't want a W who does not behave respectfully. You can leave the house without telling her where you are going or when you will return. It's okay. You don't have to stay and find something to distract you while she talks to OM. Show respect for yourself.

Does this make sense to you? Have I confused you?

She may not sleep on the couch or in another room, but you can still tell you do 't want her in your bed, then roll over to go to sleep and don't say any more to her. Remain in your bed, even if she doesn't leave. Make sense? You are telling her you don't want her there, and you turn over to go to sleep without having further conversation. Remain calm and don't fight with her.

Yes, you are dropping her, but you also show respect for yourself. You show her she is not fooling you with her game of being "friends" with OM.

I believe you are strong enough to make this step. Think about it and tell me your thoughts. If you aren't sure what I am saying, please ask questions.

((hugs))

It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!