Yes, my daemon here is that the pill had a big impact on her libido, and she always used the fact that she was sick and her hormones were screwed up as a rationale for not doing anything about it.
Interestingly. we looked into alternative forms of birth control, but she was never on board with them until other health issues forced her hand.
She's since told me that she's "turned on all the time" just not attracted to me anymore. So it's quite easy for me to say I just should have been patient.
One of her big hurts was that I mentioned her libido (or lack thereof) to her new doctor when discussing her health issues.
If I'm honest with myself, I had NO way of knowing at the time that this would be resolved, and I was unhappy with the prospect of a permanent lackluster sex life. But she's still chosen to focus on this as an example of how I didn't support her, and I still have trouble not blaming myself for being more patient.
I wish we could PM on this site. I'd climb with you if were where in the area.
I wouldn't beat yourself up too much. Women's libido's ebb and flow. I recently documented a few weeks ago how my wife was insatiable. 4 days in a row, that hasn't happened since year 1 of dating! Then we got into a once a week rhythm. She told me the other night on the way home that the desire was gone again. She said she didn't know if was related to her cycle which is now very unpredictable due to her being peri/premenopausal.
We did end up doing it a couple of mornings ago, but the last few times I've initiated. It appears that her desire to initiate has waned for the time being.
I should note, she said that she isn't having any urges sexually right now, that it isn't just sex with me. Just weird for her to go from thinking about it all time, buying sex toys, etc. To back to nothing. But I guess I will never understand women's sexuality!
rframe, my point is that you don't know if the sex drive is the cause or a symptom. It is just impossible to tell. You could have been the perfect husband and she may never have had much drive within the bounds of your marriage. So go easy on yourself.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
