Yes socks. Not a cat names Socks. Just the cloth items you put over your feet.
My wife is notoriously hard on socks. She can get a dozen pairs and have them worn out in just a few months. She also hates to shop so she'll either wear the worn socks, or start sneaking into my drawer and wearing mine.
Early in our marriage, I would harp on her about wearing my socks. I am an above average sized human male. She is about an average sized human female. Her heal would fall about to the middle of the sole of my socks, causing a hump in my socks after she'd warn them a while that would then bunch up in my shoe.
Further, she is also notoriously hard on socks (did I already mention that?!) and she would start wearing out my socks in a few months as well.
I would harp on her to either go buy socks, something she deplored doing. And to stop wearing my socks! I logically explained to her that her wearing my socks caused the problems I mentioned above.
Now, being an ignorant alpha male, and knowing very little about psyche of women, I had no idea how much this harping on socks deeply wounded my wife. It made her feel like she was less important to her than my socks! It also made her feel less connected to me since if I couldn't share my socks with her, then how could I share even bigger, more important things with her?
My epiphany came after BD. Shortly after BD she was at a state where she had very few wearable socks. Having realized the dynamic in the paragraph above this one, especially the part about my being an ignorant alpha male, I gladly offered to let her wear my socks! I cannot overstate the impact this had on her.
Her initial reaction was "No, you hate when I wear your socks. You know, I make a heal hump in the middle of them, and wear them out too quickly." I insisted that instead of her wearing holey socks, or going without, that she wear mine. In the meantime, I went onto Amazon and ordered her enough socks to last her a whole year! (Which was about 3 dozen pairs!)
The moral of this story is that sometimes something as simple as socks can make all the difference in a marriage. If I had realized how much more connected, taken care of, and honored she felt by my willingness to let her wear my socks in a pinch, and too buy her what she needed without being asked, I would have done it a longtime ago.
So I encourage those of you that are bad situations in your marriage and posting (or just reading) this board to find out what the "socks" in your marriage is, and to find a way to make your spouse feel honored, taken care of, and therefore, more connected to you using those "socks". And for Pete's sake, do not let something as simple as socks ruin your marriage!
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
