Maybe guilt? I know my W was guilt ridden that after BD (which I initiated) on 12/23 that my Christmas was ruined. She'd say "let's not let it ruin the holidays". So I think it comes from guilt, and maybe a bit of a temp check, as if to see if it still has as big of an impact on you as it used to.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
