My handsome man and I are going for a short holiday. I'm taking him to my second home (I'm half Scottish, half Mediterranean).
I'm unbelievably excited. I can't wait to share this with him.
I spent a lot of time there as a child (went to school there for a bit as well), and it was the only family I knew, as I didn't know my dad growing up or his side of the family at all. I've grown up with both cultures and both languages.
I also did some more very small house improvements, and I feel happy to be working on that again. Even though they were small things, they feel very meaningful and like big things for me.
This whole process (including both my grandmothers dying within six years of each other) has made it easier to let things go.
At the same time though if I think about what happened, I just feel an incredibly deep sadness. More than sadness...sorrow. I still don't understand how things could have gotten so bad and become so irreparable in XH's eyes that he did what he did (talking about the A's here).
But he wasn't the person that I thought he was. Or maybe he just let that side of him out, and gave expression to it? And maybe we all have that side in us, and we either choose to give it expression or choose not to? According to experience, circumstance (the circumstances we create), what we think of ourselves, how we think of ourselves? We choose the path we want to go along.
