let me add this... there is more to taking full responsibility for one's mistakes than simply admitting guilt... i see this a lot... someone admits they did something wrong... says they take full responsibility, but then are surprised that they must actually face consequences...
this is where my H fell short... he didn't hold me to my promises... to my, "i'll do anything..." he let me gradually slide right back without challenging me...
the scenarios that your W is coming up with that allow her to keep BFF are so telling... she is saying, "i will do anything... BUT THAT!" until the next thing (office wine)... "i will do anything... BUT THAT AND THIS!"
for the time being, until she has a proven track record, you ought to not cave in here... when i finally cut my BFF out of my life, there did come a time when i could have reconnected on a lesser level, but by then, i didn't want to... i saw it for what it was, and i no longer had room in my life for that... your W has a ways to go before she gets there...
