Two weeks ago it was "please come back, I'll do anything" and now I'm hearing little things,like "This is what I want, and I'm willing to do all the things on this list to try to save our MR, but I'm also scared that you're never going to let me forget this, that I'm always going to be nervous and looking over my shoulder and afraid of making some little mistake or forgetting to tell you something" and "I worry that I'm never going to feel comfortable and you're never going to want me to hang out with my friends".
Totally understandable. All perfectly reasonable concerns and feelings given the situation. She WILL have to deal with those thoughts and feelings.
Meanwhile, you'll have to be afraid that if you make some little mistake that you'll 'drive her to the arms of another man', that every time she goes out with her friends she's actually screwing someone else, and that you invest further months and years into a relationship with someone that you later find out isn't committed and has been seeing someone else behind your back again.
The road ahead will be so difficult it requires a complete commitment or one or both of you will turn back.
I think if she's committed to the M and just telling you as a partner what she's going through, that's fine. If she's expecting you to waiver on your boundaries to lower the bar for her that's not fair to the load you already are carrying here.
Hopefully your MC can help guide you through this conversation. Good job holding the course.
Me:38 XW:38 T:11 years M:8 years Kids: S14, D11, D7 BD/Move out day: 6/17/14, D final Dec 15
