She doesn't give a crap how you're feeling. Words are cheap. Channel your anger in a productive way - work out, go boxing, chop some trees, whatever works for you. As others have said, actions not words. Just repeat it to yourself - actions not words.
Achieve the balance between being assertive/firm and pleasant. That is the secret sauce right there. That will do way more wonders for you than giving her some lecture about your feelings.
