Hi Everyone, I am new to posting, although like many of you, have been reading a lot of posts and also read DR. My H and I have been married for 22 years, together for 24. We have two girls, 15 and 18. I think my H is in MLC. His communication skills have always been lacking, and all that I have really gotten him to share is that he is unhappy, and often thinks he would rather be alone. This was shared with me a few months ago. In addition, he accounts these feelings to years of a sexless marriage. I can certainly see my fault in lack of intimacy over the years, but he is re-writing history, as many others seem to do. I have tried various aspects of the DB process, with some success at times, but now none at all. A few months ago, I tried initiating intimacy and we were having sex about twice a week. I set up dinner dates with friends, and GAL on my own (starting going to the gym several times a week, joined a book group, reconnected with old friends, etc.). Things were headed in the right direction, I thought. For whatever reason, for the past few weeks, things have taken a turn. He does not want to go out at all with me, and barely speaks to me. Now, as the MLC seems to be progressing, we are like strangers in the household. He does not want me in the bed with him, and we only seem to communicate about our dog. Increasingly, he spends more and more time away from the house with his buddies. He did tell me he would like to be able to come and go as he pleases, without me inquiring about his whereabouts. I also stopped asking him these types of questions months ago. He has told me several times there is no other woman. I know DR recommends trying various approaches, but I'm not sure what to do. I have always been fairly independent, and have tried offering more affection/ concern/ caring, but it is not working. Neither does continuing to be independent! This is such an incredibly difficult time. My girls are concerned and would love nothing better than to have our family unit working again. I know I have only scratched the surface here. Any suggestions are welcome!
