Help evaluating LRT progress

[Olya]

So, from everything I've read so far, this smells like an exit affair. Not much hope here - there is little chance that he will want to reconcile and return to the marriage. His new relationship isn't likely to last either, but what's that to me?

Anyone have any advice/information regarding exit affairs?

From what I have read, and some of the success stories I have heard since I started doing my research after BD, there is always hope! I have heard some incredible stories of things including a spouse marrying someone new, only to return a couple of years later to tell the LBS that it was a mistake and that they want to come back. So even as dire as your situation feels, there is always hope he will realize what he is doing and want to correct it.

As far as exit affairs, I am not sure that changes anything from DBing standpoint? The overall principles still apply: detach, work on you, GAL, be the best you can be and show that you to him every chance you get.

Perhaps. But I think that a big part of letting go is asking whether I will want him back. I don't know if I will. If he was to call me right now and tell me that he has made a mistake, I'm not sure I'd take him back and even if I did, how much if that would be out of pity? Somehow, an exit affair makes this whole thing more gross from my perspective. He cannot leave respectfully like an adult. Instead, he is looking for a landing pad - he is scared to be alone. Right now, we should be figuring out how to detangle our lives and at the very least going to separation counseling. Instead, he is trying to live the teenage years he never got to have and I desperately searching for approval and connection.

I honestly expect them to have sex. I expect that he will be too dumb to wear a condom. And I expect that in 9 months he will be a daddy whether he wants it or not and whether it is his or not.

This may not change any of my DBing action or plans, but I do think that it changes my goals. A lot.