It is really hard to find my own life as our MR life was completely intermingled.
Yes, and that is not a healthy sign. I was there too. It's complete co-dependency if things are super intermingled. Where is your identity and you as a person? Now is the perfect time to figure that out and see where it goes. After BD, I had 2 people in my social network in my town. I started new GAL activities and started meeting people. And now I am slowly building my own network that is completely outside of W. Look at Meetups. You can do it, no problem.
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I am moving towards acceptance of the end but not quite there yet.
Don't fret over that. Acceptance and detachment take time. Take the time to grieve the end of your relationship and accept that it is truly over. But don't stay there forever, and make sure you're doing positive things so that you're pulled out of your grief. Now start building yourself up.
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As a lot of others on here I fear that if I accept it over I fear that I will lose hope. It seems like balancing the two are in opposition to one another.
It is perfectly fine to have a small piece of hope tucked away in your heart. But, that hope has to be centered around you being a full and happy person. And that hope has to be about finding the person that will enrich your life - maybe it's your W, or maybe it's someone else.
What are some things your W has done that contributed to the demise of your MR? Where did she fail you as a partner? Dig deep and find answers to those questions, and then think of what you need in a partner. When you find out what you need in a partner, add that to your cup of hope. Now your hope is about positivity, happiness, and flourishing in life.
I know this isn't easy. trust me I know. But, I can guarantee you that the other side of the tunnel isn't scary and that this internal work will make you hella attractive to others.
