WW moved out. Whirlwind of emotions

[reframe]

OK.. She came over and did taxes today. It was incredibly hard, but I stick to the rules.


She texted earlier to confirm that we weren't doing dinner.
I was friendly, but no pursuit.

I noticed a few little comments from her - she asked if I switched climbing gyms, since she hadn't seen me at the one we both go to (I have not switched).

She reached out and felt the material on my shirt once.
A few little temp checks like that from her.

At the same time, things she was saying and doing were still making it clear that she is moving on with her life.

When she left, she hugged me. I responded with a one arm half hug and she commented that it was "a halfhearted hug" and said goodbye. Using the same tone she used to have when I got annoyed about sex and withdrew years ago.

I feel like I did pretty well. I was cordial, but no pursuit. I'm already second guessing not reciprocating the hug. The hardest part when we would fall into working on things together, and some talking and laughing, like old times. It felt very comfortable and familiar. Times like those I feel like I could enjoy dinner with her, although that's not on the table while OM is in the picture.

I really appreciate the support and coaching this community has provided btw. This is the hardest thing I've ever done.