WW moved out. Whirlwind of emotions

[reframe]

We have complicated taxes, and we get significantly more money back filing as married.

That is fine but why does it have to be done together with the both of you being present in each other's company. I filed our taxes this year as MR, my sent me her documents and I filed. She wasn't present.

Just make sure you are not looking for reasons to interact or be in her presence.

No. I loaned her the laptop with turbotax on it. She's entered her stuff, we're just sitting down together for the "finale"

I'd rather change to a different plan. She currently pays me $200 a month for her health insurance premiums. Since open enrollment is a two week period, if we want to make changes, now is the time.

If this is BAU for you and would normally be a topic of conversation then fine....I just would not go looking to make a bunch of changes just because of the situation. Most insurance plans have significant life event clauses that allow you to change in the middle of your plan for these types of situations.

Yeah, this is tricky A qualifying life even is a marriage or divorce. We're separated but not divorced. Right now she pays me $200 a month for her premiums.

I don't want to precipitate a divorce, so I don't know if it's better to give her the option to get off my coverage now - or just say and do nothing.

They go to expensive training. One has behavioral issues. We're supposed to have shared custody of them, so I feel that their financial upkeep (vet bills, training etc.) is a shared responsibility.

Makes sense, when my W moved we both sat down and agreed on what each of us would pay based on our incomes. If you haven't already done so then I definitely would pursue some sort of an agreement between the both of you.

The financial piece is hard to navigate......you don't want to pay for their lifestyle but you also don't want them to stay in the house just for financial reasons either. When my W told me she wanted to go I just said ok let's sit down and discuss how we can make this happen.

Right. I think I'll indicate that I feel they're a shared responsibility and ask how she wants to handle it. I'm fine with keeping track and having her pay me back in the future, but I think the advice that I wait for her to suggest it is sound.

I didn't - I the "message" I sent was by my actions :-)


Ok cool, yes by your actions no words. It is time to really stick to Sandi's rules, strictly NC unless it is about money or I guess your dogs

Yeah, this part is really tough. It's so counterintuitive. I feel like I'm going to miss the chance to recon by not being there and staying close. I know from these boards that that's not true - but it's a constant struggle.

That's a bit of a bind. I'd rather stay off SM, but it's also very instrumental in my GAL efforts, since a lot of my climbing partners use it to communicate.

If you must just don't take the bait and peak at what she is up to. The struggle is not with her but with yourself. [/quote]

Absolutely. This is tough.
I need to unfollow her.

Today she posted something on FB about "how blessed she feels, in so many ways today". I'm not sure if she's trying to convince herself, or other people, but <gag>
I'm pretty sure if you're that happy you just ARE, you don't need to make public declarations of it.