Yo Benni!! So good to hear from you always. Love the update. I so wish you earlier threads were available so people can see what you went through, and how it wasn't any different than others on this board.
I am super happy to hear about the relationship with your parents. And yeh, it's about changing your life, and it will impact all relationships. In my case, my R with my kids has improved so dramatically because I made changes within myself. So, DBing has already made me a better parent and a father.
There are victories beyond just your marital relationship.
Ha Ha Good to hear from you. I usually keep an eye out for your thread - Just keep plugging away pal - That really is the best you can do.
Its good to hear about your kids - Alot of people dont understand how important being a good parent can affect their children's futures - so you should be proud of yourself.
Thanks for the update B, I remember reading through your old threads and if I remember right about 8 months in she saw a picture of you with your family and the tides started to turn. The advice that AS was giving you was invaluable, I agree with M and wish they were still available.
Any how you put in the work so never second guess yourself and ignore the haters! I don't have a confirmed OM and my W didn't return, it's doesn't matter and that is the part we can't control. You did the work, it paid off in your personal life and in your MR life and you are now reaping the rewards.
Great for you and I am happy you are doing well! Even more beautiful that you reconnected with your parents. That is cool stuff.
if I remember right about 8 months in she saw a picture of you with your family and the tides started to turn.
That is a seriously impressive memory..
Yes it was.. a birthday party for my grandparents. She said it was the first time she saw me and looked at me as she would someone else (i.e. another other guy) - rather than someone holding her back.
We started dating once a week from there...
Dont worry about the relationship pal - it is what it is.
We have all gone through the sh*t big time and its nice to have that connection in a weird way - as you guys know stuff that my best friends have no idea of.
The internet does have its positive uses it seems!
Yeh I don't update my thread as often as there is really not much to share. The MR situation is pretty status quo, but I am doing great and improving my life.
In the last week, W and I have texted a bit back and forth. Mostly about kids and then some other random stuff. I am at a place where it doesn't faze me at all and I am not trying to read into it or think that there's some progress lol.
The best that could come of this is that our in-person interactions might be a bit less awkward during kids activities on the weekends.
I've come to a place where I am comfortable filing for D. But like AS says, just give it a few months. I can't technically file till June/July, so I still have some time. But, I am doing really good.
Nice to see you here Benito and it's good to see you sharing your knowledge for the newcomers. I can admit that I am definitely one of those who think not all stories are the same and the people related have a big impact on what the ending is. At the same time, however, a person who can BD WITHOUT having a third party validating their "uniqueness" is very strong emotionally so I think you have a true gem on your hands.
However, as someone who could read through your previous posts, it was evident that you did the work. Without it, as you said, you would be divorced. I never meant to say it by neglecting the work you had done.
Please keep visiting and sharing your story. Personally, I feel a bit "connected" to you, Maika, Holding and J9 because you all were here pretty much at the same time as I was. Mostly because those stories are the ones I follow the most.
For the newcomers, Benito was really hopeless about a year ago. Look at him now. The future is unwritten and even if your case does not end up in a reconciliation, it doesn't mean your future will be empty. You are the one who write your own future, so write it bright and beautiful.
In my thirties, BDd 2017, divorced 2 young kids new relationship
Personally, I feel a bit "connected" to you, Maika, Holding and J9 because you all were here pretty much at the same time as I was.
I feel the same lcause. Like we're part of some graduating class. But when I got here you, Benni, Holding, and J9 were jumping into DBing. We've all come out at the end of the tunnel (almost), and with very interesting outcomes. I have learned so much from all of you.
Also, bumping this thread for any newbies. Come and bloody well read this thread.
[quote]Personally, I feel a bit "connected" to you, Maika, Holding and J9 because you all were here pretty much at the same time as I was.
100%..
Because we spent time helping each other out it gave us time to focus on something other than our own situation which at the time was something we all needed a break from
