25years mlc 10 years pass I FILE #9 LAST LAP

[25yearsmlc]

Costa Rica? Chile? Ecuador?

Chile yes, Argentina and Brazil. I'm not at all fond of jungles and humidity so if it were the west coast of Costa Rica, maybe.

Also, I must confess I'd like an area where I'm more attracted to the men in there, so that means the countries above that I named, Europe, and some other parts of the world.

My brother lived in Costa Rica for 4 years, but on the eastern part. It rained a lot for me.

Maybe the western coasts of those countries could work. I also speak some French so, you know, not so helpful in Central America.

I cannot explain this - but Argentina, Chile and Brazil are more exotic to ME than Central America.

Europe, eastern and whatever I can get in 90 day chunks in Italy/France/Spain are other ideas.

Once there, I'm told (indirectly) I can look for work at companies that need contract law, and business terms explained and translated. That pays decently compared to teaching civilians. Thing is, I don't need a LOT of income, and maybe don't need any if I simply spend less on rent there than I do here.

And that is an easy thing to do b/c I live in a pricey area and had to get NEXT to the subway b/c I could not drive yet at the time. So just lowering my rent will allow me to have some disposable income there.

If you guys can get over there, you have a place to stay. I just don't know where that will be.

Sort of getting afraid of this. "move to a foreign country where you know only your dog. Sure!"

But I'm pretty committed and can't really back out now.

That's probably a good thing. OH and the thing about the job is, I want and need one for SOCIAL reasons. Not so much financial.

Otherwise I'm wandering around with my dog and NOT able to speak the language - a bit too wacky even for me.

Okay now's the time to tell me that if I don't do this now, I never will.

Oh, I just told myself that.



I love the idea of living abroad. I'd like to do it when I retire, but I'm not sure I'll be free of caretaking responsibilities by that time (mom and kids) so I might have to settle for just vacations.

well you have a place to stay!! And Elle, you're an MD. What about a 90 day deal? Or Doctors without Borders?

I'd LOVE to work with them - but they seem not to hire a lot of lawyers. I think they tend to focus on...yikes, what is it? Can't remember...Hmmm, oh wait, I KNOW - it's patient care.)

I think I could fake being a doctor (God knows, I sure did for JURIES!!! ) for a few weeks if, well, if no one expected anything of me

but sage comforting advice, or birthing babies (cue "Gone with the Wind" now).

Of course, Doctors Without Borders folks probably do more than that....AND that is where YOU come in. Just Skype me thru some neuro or heart surgeries (hey, I'm good with my hands) and live vicariously through me.

A few months before my mom died, I told my sisters that xh and I were going to live abroad b/c it was OUR dream. I didn't get the "only Alaska and only full time" memo.

My sister said she'd kill me if I did that since mom's light was just beginning to dim a bit.

She knew she'd need help, but mom checked out before that day happened. Until you just wrote that, I guess I never saw an "upside" to mom being gone. I miss her madly and she left a gaping hole in my life.

But I am freer, aren't I? Same goes for X being an ex.

Well aren't I the "glass is half full" woman tonight??



I have no desire to marry again, although I'd be happy to have a good long term partner.


Wow yes, I hear you. The upside to marriage in my eyes, NOW, is that you can feel a sense of "we belong together" that I do miss. (And yes I know I was, evidently quite wrong in thinking I was "safe" with x. Dang, that still causes me pain and grief. I'm a month post divorce. Could be a TAD soon to expect closure)

As I date M and meet other men on occasion (for lunch or random introductions, not actually "seeing OM's" at this time although M and I have no exclusivity arrangement yet and I really do want to date others and have M date others too).

I find I'm constantly reminding myself that "Hey we are not married, it's okay to just hang out and enjoy" but then thinking "could I spend my LIFE with this guy?"

And if not, am I wasting his time or mine? M is far ahead of me b/c he's been separated 4+ years.

Sheesh, I'm over thinking.


I'd certainly never marry without an ironclad prenup.

if I met a gazillionaire I would not need a prenup at all. Just a really nice engagement gift...of an annuity or such. Let's go where the rich nice guys are...first, find out where that is and THEN we need to go. Your mom will totally understand.

Otherwise, yes a prenup.


Right now, I'm happy just to have a sexy friend I see once a month or so. (Not nearly enough sex but on the other hand I have enough energy for all the other people in my life who need me.)

Don't worry, the dreams/nightmares go away.

I need them to go away and focus on MY future and not freak out about it.

OMG

So xh just reached out to me by email for filing taxes jointly for 2017. Says we will split the refund.

It's darn tempting to agree to, and he was polite in the email. Yes he needs something.

I immediately wrote a polite & informed response, but then put it in my drafts. I don't need to rush an answer to him.

Christ, it's the 10th. Taxes are Due next week. I don't want x to know I took classes and earned virtually nothing. (Why do I give a damn?)

Guess I could say "I don't owe taxes due to my advanced studies"...

"OH and due to the fact I'm RECOVERING from the internal whacks to the head that got me in a neuro ICU for 6 days... Remember? Oh, wait. You were not there."

Today a dear friend who means well, told me that OW does not look happy with X and that OW gained weight and they have not married yet.


WHAT????????????????????? Hm, well I LOST WEIGHT and her IQ didn't go up. So, I win...

Wow, on that petulant note, I need to pull myself away and THINK and go for a walk, aka
a "fury march".

I appreciate you guys and you make me laugh. Trying to remember the things we spoke of months ago about the weirdest things we heard about our flaws.

Of course x never told me to my face, but he did once say he could not believe I wasn't in the senate by now. Yeah, the US Senate.

And at the time he was "just up the road" (300 miles) for his unnecessary fellowship. So I was a single mom, again, for 2 girls.

"Sure, let's go campaigning kids! It'll be FUN!"

So HIS expectations OF me were insanely high and really impossible to meet, and he managed my expectations of him to almost nothing.

"Hey, Don't shoot me" was an expectation he met, I guess...
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