10,000 views? Wowzer, people actually do read this :-)

I am going to try and update at least once a month, just to keep up with the boards and let you all know how I am doing. Maybe I should move myself over to Piecing? I don't really think of us as piecing. We are pretty much pieced back together. Maybe we are refining or detailing, but I am pretty sure that will be an ongoing and forever process. Like all relationships, it continues to change and evolve.

I don't know if there is much traffic over in Piecing. Mostly, I want Newcomers to see that their sitch--and the pain & agony--is temporary. I can't go back in time and comfort my left behind self, so I just tell all of you what I think I needed to hear. I wish I could tho. There are so many things I would love to go back and tell my disheveled and brokenhearted self. Geez, I was such a mess. Never again will I let a man bring me down that hard. Nope.

I handle myself and my M differently now. I try and look at my own behavior more and see how I can better it. It's not easy some times. I try to be introspective instead of just rationalizing it. I get impatient and snappy with my H and kids. I gotta work on that. I also don't put up with much BS from anyone. If you send a clear message you only have room for respect, people rise to the occasion. I don't have the energy to bicker. I want to enjoy life.

I have several cool trips planned coming up: Hawaii, hiking/camping, Spain, and some spa time. Some family time and some trips with the ladies and no H :-) Before BD I felt like we needed to do most things as a couple. I don't feel that way at all anymore. I also love my alone time! I have a big bday coming up so it's really on my mind. It's the big one guys. People say it's just a number and it only matters how you feel. Noted. But it matters to me! Especially when you give up your 20s to raise kids. I hope I can embrace this aging with strength and dignity. Weeding out toxic people has helped too.

I don't really have much new to add. I'm somewhat boring and no drama these days. I'll take that! I am going to need to start a new thread soon. Thinking about what I might title it this time ... "Bluwave is going over the hill"???

Blu

“Forgiveness liberates the soul. It removes fear. That is why it is such a powerful weapon.” – Nelson Mandela